The Defusing Difficulties™ Technique Works on Difficult People
Dolores Tolbert ITIL Consultant and Trainer
Dolores Tolbert wrote: The Defusing Difficulties™ Technique is quite powerful—the results of which are manifested near immediately. Kathy introduced me to the Defusing Difficulties™ Technique when I shared a situation for which I was most challenged: a 5-day IT session, a rather sizable class, and one egotistical personality determined to disrupt the positive tone of the session. After speaking with Kathy, I applied the technique and was amazed at the results. Moments after applying the technique, the individual took on a more positive disposition and, much to my surprise, offered an unsolicited apology. It’s been over a year now since I was introduced to the Defusing Difficulties™ Technique, and the results are as powerful today as they were a year ago. Thanks, Kathy!
The Defusing Difficulties™ Technique to Enhance Office Climate
Mary Johnson* CFMP Executive Vice-President, Corporate Services Group
Kathryn provides a deep and detailed knowledge of Defusing Difficulties™. Our work together provided me with the necessary tools to build better relationships resulting in increased communication, understanding, and trust. I have effectively used the Defusing Difficulties™ method to positively enhance personal and business relationships. I highly recommend Kathryn and the Defusing Difficulties™ Technique to anyone who is interested in building better relationships and being more productive.
The Defusing Difficulties™ Technique Helped Strengthen Family Ties
Kelly Murphy* Salesperson
In recalling the day that I learned the Defusing Difficulties™ Technique from Kathy Farinholt, I remember thinking;
Well, I don’t really think I’ll need this technique right now because I am currently unemployed and…the only people I can think of in my life that were difficult to deal with were in my former workplace. But…OK… I’ll learn the technique for future reference.
To my utter amazement I found an immediate application for the Defusing Difficulties™ Technique. Here’s what happened at home that same day:
Upon arrival, I joined my husband and daughter at the dining room table. I was late getting home so they had already had their dinner and were sitting and chatting. It seemed to me that our daughter was in a quandary. Her conversation focused on her situation; as recent college graduate her challenge was to manage an upcoming summer internship, her recently acquired part time job and create activity and opportunity in her quest for a full time job. Another valid concern of hers was her view of her future considering the dark economic conditions and forecasts.
She engaged me in the conversation and asked for my advice on her situation. I listened to her concerns and thoughts and asked if I could take notes. I took out my note pad and took notes, as is my habit when I am listening to give advice.
When she finished her thoughts, I went through my notes of her concerns and began to share my thoughts. Taking each point and offering my point of view. The tone of our conversation quickly became adversarial. Her reaction to my view and advice was anger. She said that my delivery of information was critical and condescending. She felt that I was lecturing her. She did not like my approach, tone of voice, choice of words, advice and general demeanor. Once she shared her opinion on my behavior, I became defensive and angry. Psyche became full “on guard”…I felt my fight reflex swelling-up and kicking in. Suddenly, I remembered the Defusing Difficulties™ Technique! I immediately employed it. I focused intently on employing the technique, as I listened. My fight response receded. Replacing it was a wave of caring, loving emotion. The loving emotion soothed my fight response. I managed to close our conversation. Stop my damaging behavior, see her behavior differently by not taking it personally and move on.
Later in the evening we apologized to each other. We both moved on.
Now, with Kathy Farinholt’s guidance, the Defusing Difficulties™ Technique has become a practice for me. It has provided me a much needed shift in thinking. I use it daily. I use it with family members and in day-to-day situations with strangers. I recommend you try it! Who couldn’t use a technique that fosters peace!
* Name changed for client confidentiality